The Birthday Bitch

The Birthday Bitch has a reputation for being cranky and unappreciative. This has less to do with growing older than it does with sleep depravation. It doesn’t matter whether it is her birthday or not, The Birthday Bitch is not someone you want to be around if she is lacking sleep. 

Certain relatives, morning people, mostly males who have no understanding what it is like to be a tired working mother and wife with fucked-up hormones, would often send birthday wishes in the form of text messages at four, five, or six o’clock in the morning waking The Birthday Bitch, who is a very light sleeper, with that ting of the phone. In response, the bitch would send a terse message in return. Something to the effect of: What the hell are you doing waking people up this early in the morning?!!!!!!! Feel free to add a couple of other choice expressions to this as they were likely there originally. Certainly not a proud moment for The Birthday Bitch.

Times have changed. The Birthday Bitch is now retired and sleeps better and longer. When those early-morning birthday wishes arrive from those male relatives, they still wake her up, but these days, she checks the message so it doesn’t make the annoying ting twice, grumbles to herself, rolls over and attempts to fall back to sleep, which rarely happens. Now days she waits until she is fully awake and in a more pleasant state of mind before responding with an appreciative thank you. Proof positive that, like wine, some bitches can improve with age. 

Thank you for reading. 

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7 thoughts on “The Birthday Bitch

  1. Hi there, Bitchy After 60. Having recently turned 62, I lit up like a moldy pumpkin when Margie from Back Roads and Other Stories brought you to my attention today.

    Good sleep? Is that even a thing? I had to smile at the reference to the text messages at unGodly hours. I have three older brothers, and we’re all now retired. The problem is we ended up in each of the four continental geographic time zones in the United States. the east coast and midwest brothers forget that I live on the west coast and are prone to the early morning ding text messages. 😜

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Pete. So nice to connect with you. I am trying to picture a lit up moody pumpkin. Yes sleep is a major priority in my life. I am a lot less bitchy when that priority is fulfilled. My brothers all live within an hour’s drive and in the same time zone. But they are early morning people or perhaps people who don’t sleep at all. Either way our schedules never mesh. Thanks for reaching out.

      Liked by 1 person

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