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Still Bitchy After 60 Blog

Still Bitchy After 60 Blog

Stories, observations & rants from the crest of the hill

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Tag: humor

It’s Fixed. It’s Washed. I’m Happy.

May 12, 2023May 12, 2023 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 20 Comments

Early Monday morning, well early for us retired people, I took my banged-up, duct-taped car in for repairs. Some of you will remember my car. The car that I had backed into the plumber's van last year causing the plastic bumper to tear. The car that was also hit on that very same bumper by an … Continue reading It’s Fixed. It’s Washed. I’m Happy.

Meat Loaf at Midnight

March 25, 2023March 25, 2023 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 18 Comments

She knew it wasn't wise to have tea after 7:PM, but what else should she have done? The doorbell rang just before that and standing on the step was Steve with a couple of bags of Rita's Oat Cakes. No she is not having an affair with Steve. He would need to bring a lot … Continue reading Meat Loaf at Midnight

Skip The Card… Buy The Wine

February 13, 2023February 13, 2023 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 21 Comments

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash It's February. The month when couples have fourteen days to try to find the perfect way to express their undying love for each other. I guarantee most people will still be figuring it out on the 13th. If nothing else, they will buy a card. Who's idea was all … Continue reading Skip The Card… Buy The Wine

Too Much Time With A Sailor

January 4, 2023January 4, 2023 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 15 Comments

Come all ye young fellows who follow the sea. Wey! Hey! Blow the man down!  And please pay attention and listen to me; Give us some time to blow the man down! This is where my mind and my fingers have been for the past several weeks. I feel as if I have been having … Continue reading Too Much Time With A Sailor

The Great Xmas Tree Hunt of 2022

December 20, 2022December 20, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 26 Comments

Back in 1986, The Bitch, who was not quite as bitchy as she is now, and The Doc, who was not quite as grumpy as he is now, moved in together. Since December of that year, when they were so excited to be spending their first Christmas together in the same house, they have participated … Continue reading The Great Xmas Tree Hunt of 2022

That Last Day

November 8, 2022November 8, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 26 Comments

We've all heard or read the quote, "Live this day as if it's your last." None of us know exactly where or when we first heard or read it. Nor do we know who originated it. I figure it was created by some self-appointed sage who now creates memes for Facebook with the constant goal … Continue reading That Last Day

The Proactive Bitch’s Guide to Storm Prep

September 23, 2022September 23, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 24 Comments

The Bitch is fully aware that she should have written and published this post yesterday, but yesterday, her and The Doc were engrossed in storm prep. Fiona is on the way. She is now knocking on our doors as the rain has begun. She will arrive in full force tonight. Why these storms prefer to … Continue reading The Proactive Bitch’s Guide to Storm Prep

Stella, Finn, Oscar and The Wind Spinner

July 28, 2022July 28, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 23 Comments

It all started with the wind spinner… No wait a minute, that’s not right. It all started with several piles of goose crap on the beach where we launch the kayaks. But if you want to go further back than that, it actually started when a small flock of beautiful, majestic, but very shitty Canadian … Continue reading Stella, Finn, Oscar and The Wind Spinner

The Crazy Bitch’s Guide To Sanity

July 21, 2022July 21, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 28 Comments

The bitch had been known to lose it at times. People thought she was crazy. Absolutely nuts and out of control.  People who didn't understand her struggles with over-the-top hormone imbalances, low self esteem and an inability to manage stress. They did not know that her biggest battle was often with herself.  This was before she … Continue reading The Crazy Bitch’s Guide To Sanity

My Husband is Gone Away. YAY!

June 11, 2022June 11, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 24 Comments

And no he did not finally leave me. He has gone fishing with son number one, and I get three days to myself. He gets a river and a cabin, fish and mosquitoes. I get the whole bed, to not feel the need to plan meals, to eat when I feel like it and do … Continue reading My Husband is Gone Away. YAY!

The Soggy Cheerios Biting Wood Adventure

May 28, 2022May 28, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 21 Comments

At the breakfast table I looked out at the misty morning, popped a prescription Naproxen and washed it down with my orange juice while waiting for my Cheerios to get soggy. I don't like soggy Cheerios. Nor do I like taking medication and resent this Naproxen more than you could know. Nevertheless, it is what … Continue reading The Soggy Cheerios Biting Wood Adventure

When The Ditz Rears Her Unfocused Head

April 7, 2022April 7, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 23 Comments

When she is dormant, life is calmer. There is less dropping of things and breaking of things and running into things. Multitasking, always a challenge, is much easier. Instructions and processes get carried out correctly or almost correctly. But when that bitchy ditz makes an appearance, things can get crazy and my lack of focus … Continue reading When The Ditz Rears Her Unfocused Head

Mayhem, Mold, Mice and Music

February 25, 2022February 25, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 26 Comments

Mayhem isn't the exact word. It may denote expectations of violence and chaos; but writers love alliteration (Wow I was so far off trying to spell that word–thank you again Siri). And I, who, these days, sometimes pretends to be a writer because I no longer have focus or take myself that serious, love to … Continue reading Mayhem, Mold, Mice and Music

Just In Case You Wanted To know

February 22, 2022February 22, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 22 Comments

You may recall The Story of a Carpet, a Coupon and a Sloppy Canadian from a few weeks back; and you may, or may not, be interested in the outcome. If you are, read on: The sloppy Canadian was doing what she does well, which is spill things, drip liquids, knock things over and basically … Continue reading Just In Case You Wanted To know

Vicarious Travel

February 4, 2022February 4, 2022 ~ Bitchy After 60 ~ 33 Comments

Travel is on my mind today. It is a day that freezing rain is in the forecast. A day that I am shut away in my office with two doors between me and the lower level. And a day that The Doc sits sans hearing aids to avoid all the noise. Since yesterday afternoon there … Continue reading Vicarious Travel

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