Sleeping Arrangements

~ Bitchy After 60

The other day my son asked a question that most adult children wouldn’t dare to ask. JT is not like most adult children. It was at breakfast. The three of us were enjoying bagel eggs, our go-to breakfast sandwich. Bagels broiled with melted cheese on one side and butter on the other then sandwiched with a fried egg in between. Both JT’s and mine had our favourite smoky gouda cheese while my husband had his usual old cheddar. Combined with a glass of juice, a cup of tea and morning conversation they make a wonderful breakfast. But I digress. Anyway, we were close to the end of our bagels and somewhere in the middle of our tea when JT posed his question. “Are you two ever going to go back to sleeping together again?” 

The question was prefaced by a cheeky grin sent in my direction because my son, and just about everyone else who knows me, knows I love to sleep alone. The nerve of that adult kid!

My husband and I have been sleeping in separate beds since the night he came home after his knee replacement surgery, six plus weeks ago. To say that I have been sleeping much better is an understatement. To sleep without having to fight for the covers every night is an absolute joy. Usually I need to have a death grip on the top sheet and quilt all night in order to remain covered and cozy when my husband turns over. Often I end up yanking them back in place to cover either my knees or my back, depending on which is pointing towards the outside of the bed. 

I don’t know how they do it but both my husband and my son pull and twist and roll the bedcovers to the point that any bed they sleep in looks like it hosted an all-night wrestling match. Tell me, is this a man thing? For the past six plus weeks all I have had to do to make my bed was flip the covers of my open side back in place then flip up the bedspread which is folded to the foot of the bed every night. Who knew it could be so simple. Well actually I knew because I enjoy this practice every time my husband goes away.

Of course after the question was posed, I had to mention to both my husband and JT how much I have enjoyed the better sleeps I had these past few weeks. Then I waited, thinking that perhaps my husband would make some sort of statement. There was no such statement, but then again, my husband is a man who doesn’t share many opinions so who knows what he is thinking about our current sleeping arrangements. I certainly don’t. To move the conversation along I casually said, “its up to Dad.”

Well Dad, aka my husband, aka The Doc or The Old Guy gave a brief status report on his knee. And I mean brief, possibly six words then said he would wait until it was a little better. So I, the dutiful and pleasing wife that I am during the times that I am not being bitchy, said, “take all the time you need,” while crossing my fingers hoping for another few weeks.

Thank you for reading. 

Photos: Jenn Stone

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28 thoughts on “Sleeping Arrangements”

  1. It’s a preference for many people sleeping apart together.

    I actually came across a movement on one of the social media I follow, called #LivingApartTogether. Some people who have the financial means to do so live in separate apartments or in semi-detached homes. For all intents and purposes they are still partners but they find themselves arguing less by maintaining their own space and alternating back and forth who will cook the family dinner or do the festivities etc.

    I always thought it was kind of refreshing. 😊

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  2. We sleep with two twin duvets (no top sheet) – this has eliminated the fuss over covers (he thinks I pull them to my side, I maintain that he doesn’t do his part to keep them anchored on his side). It also means we each can switch from the summer to winter weight duvet on our own schedule, and not leave the other one sweltering or chilly. Putting the duvets back in their covers after laundering is a bit of a pain, but daily bed making is easy.

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  4. I’m the other way around – I throw the bedclothes off literally all night. I’m cold right when I get into bed but, as soon as I warm up, I’m usually far too hot all night – and I only have a sheet and thin bedspread on the bed. My room is freezing cold too – weird…

    You might like the words from a placard I have by my bed though… “One good turn…

    Gets you most of the bedclothes!”
    😉

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  5. My husband is now at the age where he requires less sleep. He stays up late, sleeps a few hours and is wide awake again. And if he’s awake? The tv is on. Which I can’t tolerate if I’m trying to sleep. .. so he tends to snooze on the couch quite a bit now.
    😉

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  6. My wife and I used to spend the entire night taking turns rolling each other over as we’re both noisy snorers. Several years ago, we started sleeping in separate beds. I don’t see that changing. When we sleep at a motel, the earplugs go in and we turn the fan on. It doesn’t bother either of us. I forget the percentage, but it surprised me to learn how many other couples do this.

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    1. It is so much easier to do what works best for yourself when you sleep alone. Like read for an hour at 3 in the morning if necessary. The Old Guy’s knee is coming along fine and I expect he will be back on his side of the bed very soon. Probably too soon. 😉

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  10. Me & hubby have been sleeping in separate rooms for over 20 years, we each have a king size bed…it’s lovely!!! He says I snore and I like to stay up late reading; he’s an extremely light sleeper and likes to sleep in late… so it benefits both of us. I highly recommend it 🙂

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  11. Funny, funny. You are a funny woman who knows how to answer a question perfectly and delicately. Isn’t it interesting that it bothers your son that you two aren’t sleeping together. Hmmm. I know several couples who have decided to sleep in separate bedrooms, like my brother and sis-in-law. He doesn’t like it, but she LOVES the peace and quiet. Me? I happen to like waking up (due to my guy’s snores) and cuddling with him, then asking him to roll on his side, and every time, without fail, hearing him say “I AM on my side (as in his side of the bed). Every darn time. Makes me smile as I push him onto his side (of his body) and we both go back to sleep contentedly. 🙂

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    1. Have to laugh because it really doesn’t bother my son that we aren’t sleeping together. He was just shit disturbing. It does bother my husband though. He seems to take it personally. Like a rejection. I am a very light sleeper so I wake up a lot more when we share the bed. I can’t seem to convince him that I am a lot less bitchy on a good night’s sleep. Thanks for commenting.

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  12. I know many couples who sleep in separate beds… often in separate rooms. My husband started to sleep downstairs a bit ago after he said that our mattress was hurting his back. Funny thing, neither of us are all that anxious to get a new mattress so he can return 🙂 A good night’s sleep is tough enough at our age… we do what we can to get as many hours of uninterrupted sleep as possible. One of us will often slip into the other’s bed and cuddle in the morning, though.

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