A lot of people, myself included, struggle with small talk. We can’t think of things to say when faced with the daunting task of talking to people we don’t know. Out of our comfort levels and small circles of friends, we trip over words or make awkward comments when we finally do open our mouths. Or we need wine to get through the event, or at least I do. What I have learned after almost two years of blogging is that many bloggers admit to being introverts and social misfits but are still very good with words when they deliver them with a keyboard.
When I first started this adventure of blogging, I just wanted a creative means to toss stuff out into the world and clear my head. Then something happened. A couple of people liked my blogs. Only two, but it was very good for my ego. Then something else happened. Someone made a comment on a blog. Then I nearly had an anxiety attack. What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? Is there an etiquette to all of this? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I make someone mad? I really didn’t want to make anyone mad. So I liked the comment and never heard from that person again.
Afterwards, I began liking people’s comments but not saying anything because I didn’t know how to respond. What happened next was a real surprise to me. Someone started commenting on a regular basis. (Thanks Margie) She always said such nice things. Things I could relate to. Then I started responding to her comments, taking a few minutes to think through my answers before sending them. Before long, I was responding immediately without thought or stress. We were having short conversations. We were making small talk. Very pleasant small talk that has turned into much more than small talk. We discovered that we have a lot in common. Now we never miss an opportunity to communicate by commenting on each other’s blogs.
Suddenly, I felt comfortable enough to comment on other people’s blogs. This occurred after realizing how much I enjoyed reading comments on my blog and gaining an some insight by learning from others how commenting was done. Why not spread the joy? Why not support others who are as honest and vulnerable as I am at times and are also putting themselves out there? I still take some time to think these comments through before posting them, but I am doing it nonetheless. And it is becoming easier and easier. I have met some very interesting and wonderful people this way. People who I now have short conversations with on a regular basis through commenting.
It has been very rewarding to settle into this blogging community. I believe we have all grown from this experience. We get to know ourselves a bit better, and we get to interact with others in a way that works very well for most of us. My blogging circle is pretty small but pretty nice. So nice that I sometimes have difficulty keeping up my bitchy facade. (I will have to work on that.) It has helped restore some lost confidence and has taught me to trust my instincts. Hopefully, this trust and my newly acquired small-talk skills will transfer over to face-to-face interactions in the future. If not, I will continue to practice by commenting on blogs.
Thank you for reading.
Photo: Speak No Evil Monkey Emoji
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Still Bitchy After 60 Blog 
That, of course, is one of the frustrations of blogging – you select a name and start. Then you change, but by then you have become known by that name. Looks like I am stuck with the name of the group I was working with when I started the blog… 🙂
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Yes and I will Albee a bit bitchy.
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🙂
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Of course I love this post 🙂 You need to know that I am actually the most terrible small-talker. I usually end up saying something inappropriate or weird, but I have no problem talking to like-minded people. I was struggling with the exact same thing as you– how do I “talk” to others in the blogging community. I got over some insecurities, started small and with help of some very kind people (like Pete and Pete) who seem to be better at it, I am a bit more comfortable about it now. We really do have a lot in common and you always find a way of writing it out!
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We are both terrible at small talk. Yet we communicate so well. Thanks for making the effort on my behalf. I also have to admit that the bloggers you introduced me to are great for giving and receiving comments. I really enjoy them.
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We do and they are. Now to find the time to keep up with all of this…I do have to say that you are great at articulating my thoughts and making them into blog posts 🙂
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Oh yeah, connecting to the blogging community is a thing. I think that’s how most social platforms on the internet work, and I’m grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned here on WordPress. Anyway, thanks for this post!
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It is a very rewarding thing. I enjoy it so much more than the standard social media stuff. And it has been a great education as well. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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The thing about blogging is you can have a large or small circle of blogger friends. I really could care less about the total number of followers. A lot of people sign up with the hope to be followed back and have no intention of reading anything. Then there are the bloggers that like eight posts in two minutes. It’s either annoying or funny to me depending on the day of the week. I seriously wonder what they think that is supposed to accomplish.
I’d much rather have fewer followers but people that regularly engage with the material. I try to do the same on their blogs. By the way, Margie is great! I’m glad you two have hit it off. I’m guessing she may have led me over to your blog.
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I agree. I am not doing this for the numbers. I only read and follow blogs that interest me and that I actually enjoy. I like my small circle and although I enjoy the conversations of commenting, I don’t want it to be a full-time job.
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Your recounting of how you slowly dipped your toe into the blogging pool is quite similar to mine. I can definitely remember the mild panic attacks I had with releasing my first posts, eventually getting my first few likes, and then that amazing first comment from someone I didn’t already know from my “real” life.
Flash forward to now? Well, things are a bit different, as I’m sure you’ve seen on Bonnywood. I can babble away about anything with anyone, for the most part. But one initial trait has remained in that I still carefully consider my responses to comments. (Other than the brief comments of “Funny Post” or “LOL”. Those usually get a simple but appreciative “Thank you!”.) Everyone else? I think about what I’m going to say and try to customize my words to what I know about that person. It’s the right thing to do.
And you’re right. The microcosm of WordPress can be a great learning tool for the macrocosm of society in general. There are some terrific folks on this platform (you just have to find them or hope they find you) and developing meaningful (albeit digital) relationships with people who support you is a healthy boost of confidence that will help you in other situations.
I’m still an introvert, though. (I don’t think that will ever change.) I’ve just learned how to navigate most situations without tripping my anxiety triggers… 😉
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Once an introvert, always an introvert. This particular blogging introvert has decided she would like to be able to babble on at the keyboard Brian style someday. Who knows? It may happen when my digital persona grows up. A girl can dream. I think we will always spend time considering our responses. It is who we are. Our insecurities define us. I really appreciate the fact that you put so much thought into your comments.
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Oh this is perfect! Introverts don’t like small talk and I suck at it. I also struggle with COTA — comment overthinking anxiety. I have gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to re-read a comment I posted to reassure myself I hadn’t said the “wrong” thing. My level of COTA increases with the level of CIC, or my completely ignored comments. Sometimes the stress of writing “good” comments is too much while managing the stress of writing a “good” blog post, and I put commenting on hold.
As a newer blogger (3 months) comments from others have been key to bolstering my confidence and courage. Your comments have meant so much and are greatly appreciated. So of course I worry that my comments to you won’t be worthy. Oh the fucked up mind of an overthinking, over-60, introverted, beginner blogger.🤯
Great post! Thank you.
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I can so relate to this. We do get fucked up by all our insecurities. They mess with our minds. Never worry about comments to me. They are all worthy and appreciated.
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I enjoyed reading about your blogging journey. It is a wonderfully supportive community. And many times I’d think I’d rather blog than have a real conversation…
P.S. Unlike some of the others perhaps, I am obsessed with my numbers. 🙂
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It is so much easier to communicate with my keyboard. I would struggle with the numbers though. I do admire those who find them easy.
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the keyboard is your friend – it never criticizes you 🙂
and I like simple numbers – how many views, how many followers, etc. I don’t know what any of it means, but I do like when they get bigger 🙂
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This comment is coming from a fellow introverted blogger. I started my blogging journey back in 2007 after the end of my marriage to my emotionally abusive husband. It was a friend who told me about blogging so I had a ready made audience of one when I began.
It didn’t take long to become part of a blogging community. I was lucky enough to actually meet about a dozen of my fellow bloggers over the next couple of years. I am still online friends with several of those blogging friends. Many of us came to the end of our blogging roads at the time. Being part of that community commenting and receiving comments gave me the validation I needed in my path to find myself again.
In 2014 I began blogging again at the request of someone who had been reading my original blog but never commenting.
Life was busy and my inspiration was low so blog posts became fewer and fewer. It was only this year that I decided to start again. It occurred to me that I no longer needed to have a topic to write about I could just babble about my life, as simple as it is.
I am getting likes from random people and beginning to build a connection with people like yourself and Natalie.
Thank you for your kind comment on my post that I wrote in the small hours of last night without any editing. X
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Thank you for reading and commenting. This is a nice community for us to connect in. We introverts really do understand each other. Offering and receiving support is an added bonus.
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Blogging helps me get through my boredom. I love how you write ..me not a great writer. But I like going through my notes and photos of travels and writing about my journeys.
Happy Late Saturday.
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Thank you. Blogging also helps with boredom. It’s not always about the words. Your photos and the details you provide speak volumes. Hopefully you will be travelling again soon.
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Yes let’s kick Covid out of our world .
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