January Hesitations

~ Bitchy After 60

While contemplating taking down the Christmas ornaments, she hesitated. Just like yesterday. Usually all the holiday stuff, what little goes out these days, is put away by now. A January first task, designed to put everything back to normal and move forward. Hesitating isn’t her norm. Plowing forward is. But this year she wanted time to hold on to the holiday season just a little while longer. This year, she wasn’t sure she wanted to move forward.

It had been such a lovely holiday. In a sixteen day period, they celebrated three birthdays and Christmas. Each event special on their own and extra special when combined into the season. She had turned sixty-six in mid December, her husband seventy-five just after Christmas and their son, thirty-two on New Year’s Eve. The three celebrating their birthdays together with two special home-cooked meals and one dinner out. Although they exist in three different life stages, they share a love of good food and quiet togetherness.

Christmas was a joy. Not a quiet joy, but a long overdue affair where she, her husband and all three brothers, two of them from her husband’s first marriage, were together on Christmas day. Something that hadn’t occurred in at least twenty-six years. And she can’t forget the wives and grandchildren and dogs. It was a wonderfully chaotic holiday. Dinner at one family’s home and Boxing Day brunch at the other one’s. So much food and family. So much love.

Will it ever happen again? Will the stars line up so that her son is home for the holiday next year? He was home a great deal last year, but she can’t expect that to repeat itself as easy again. All she knows is that he will be here until April, and she loves having him around. Will the brothers and their families and dogs all still be just two and a half hours away? Will the weather cooperate as well in the future for that return trip? And what about her husband? The telltale tangles now exist in his brain. The symptoms appear like empty air bubbles in gravy slowly trickling through a funnel. She can’t help but wonder about how much can happen in just twelve short months. She looks at the holiday decorations once again and hesitates. 

Thank you for reading. 

Photos: Jenn Stone

22 thoughts on “January Hesitations”

      1. Hi Jennifer, I was planning on taking down my tree today as well, but just decided it can wait until the weekend.
        So happy that you Doug & family had a great Christmas.

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  3. It’s great when the stars align and these special family moments happen. We plan a family reunion every three years; this summer is the next one. We’ll be in Minnesota right on Lake Michigan.

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  6. I have to admit to having very quiet Christmases… but I like them that way, being a bit of a loner anyway. I do go over to my friend Richard’s on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to share dinner with him though.

    I never take down my decorations until the last minute and am always sad at removing them and putting them all away. I had everything up on the first of December too now I’m retired and have more time.

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  9. This is lovely. I like it when things align in such a way as to give glimpses into the magic of life. Our decorations are still up and I’m reluctant to take them down. When the time is right I/we will know.

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