The Bitch is fully aware that she should have written and published this post yesterday, but yesterday, her and The Doc were engrossed in storm prep. Fiona is on the way. She is now knocking on our doors as the rain has begun. She will arrive in full force tonight. Why these storms prefer to arrive at night is beyond her but that appears to be the norm around here.
This is not their first rodeo. The Doc and The Bitch have been dealing with hurricanes and tropical storms for years but these storms appear to be getting worse over the past couple of decades. Thank you global warming.
There are things that must be done when one knows a storm is enroute. Things that Emergency Measures tell you to do. Things like:
Put everything outside away – yes everything. The kayaks. All out door furniture. The utility trailer, after all it is only aluminum and very light. The bird feeders. Etc. Like The Bitch says… ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING. During the last storm the neighbour’s aluminum boat ended up in her yard.
Get Propane – The Doc and The Bitch have both a propane BBQ and camp stove. They can cook a hell of a lot of thawing food on the days of power outages. And there will be power outages. They also have propane lanterns. Thank heavens, they used to be campers. Thank heavens The Doc picked up propane on Wednesday and did not have to stand in line.
Water – The Bitch and The Doc, like many Nova Scotians, live outside the city and are on a well. A well requires electricity to pump the water. They can be days without water. They always have a few purchased four-liter water jugs stored plus they fill large pots.
Fill the tub – Believe me, this Bitch wants to manually flush at least once a day or things can begin to smell pretty shitty. A full tub of water allows her to do this. And because there are three bathrooms in her house. Only one tub and one toilet in one room will be used during power outages. Efficiencies are important!
Flashlights and batteries – Don’t ask The Bitch why. The first time you have to get up in the middle of a truly pitch dark, not-one-green-dot-from-an-electric-device-dark night to go pee, you will know why.
A portable radio with batteries – There will often be no internet. The radio is the only connection to the world so step back into the 60’s and listen to the radio. The news will be your lifeline.
Insulate the Freezer – The Bitch has a small chest freezer so there is food that could go bad. No fret, she piles everything in the bottom of this freezer and fills the top with duvets and sleeping bags. Her frozen food will last for days this way.
So those are some the things the Government may tell you to do in preparation for a storm, but The Bitch has a few of her own to add to the list.
Do Laundry in advance – The Bitch is not one who likes to recycle her underwear.
Have a shower – Washing up in a small dish of water is not fun or thorough so The Bitch likes to start out as clean as possible. By day five, she will be longing for a shower.
Make sure there are treats – See photo below.
Plan nonelectrical entertainment – Puzzles, Scrabble, a good book, etc. because it could be days before The Bitch gets to watch baseball again.
Don’t leave things to the last minute – If you are reading this and haven’t started your storm prep, you have left it to the last minute. Get up off your ass and at least fill the tub.
Thank you for reading.
Photos: Jenn Stone and Environment Canada