It all started with the wind spinner… No wait a minute, that’s not right. It all started with several piles of goose crap on the beach where we launch the kayaks. But if you want to go further back than that, it actually started when a small flock of beautiful, majestic, but very shitty Canadian geese decided to call the once geese-free lake home. Over the past few years these very shitty geese have mated and hatched babies and created more very shitty geese who are happily fouling the shoreline of the lake.
In as much as I admire Canada Geese, and am all for letting nature take its course, this is not a good thing. Geese can be very territorial and can take over a lake and shoreline very quickly. If they are mating, they are down right aggressive. Not creatures you want to be in close proximity of. The part of the lake where we live is quieter than the other end, which has more houses and boats. Although that is starting to change, currently my end is still very attractive to said geese.
So in order to nicely convince these geese to leave our little beach shit free, I purchased a cute, tacky wind spinner that created movement on shore and kept them at bay. And it worked. It worked very well… until the wind stopped blowing with arrival of some humid July doldrums. Once again the little beach was being crapped upon.
Enter Stella and Finn. Mom and baby were tasked with the job of floating on the surface of the lake to deter the geese from coming ashore. I admit that I was a sucker for their cuteness; and even though they couldn’t do the job one hundred percent, they will remain fixtures on my waterfront. Watching them scoot around on the surface as far as their anchor will allow is very entertaining, especially when they catch a breeze.
Next came Oscar, AKA The Lone Howler. Oscar arrived via Amazon, after a recommendation from a friend (thanks Eric Wood) plus much online research.
Some assembly was required.
He certainly made me jump when I rounded the corner and forgot he was standing in the main room.
Some creative jury rigging with cable ties, washers and eight-inch spikes was required to guarantee stability.
Oscar now looks right at home overlooking the beach and lake. He created quite the stir with the ravens at first and was pretty convincing to a fellow kayaker on the lake. So far, the geese have kept their distance. He seems to be effective, and I am quite taken with him.
The key with Oscar is the he needs to be moved on a regular basis to maintain his credibility. So every couple of days I change his position. I am pretty sure that my neighbours think I have totally lost it, but it’s worth that price to be able to kayak from a clean beach. After all, I have never been one to worry about what the neighbours think.
Thank you for reading.
Photos: Jenn Stone
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I am laughing! Shitty geese are a big problem here too. One day I looked out my window and saw a “coyote” on the lakefront lawn of a neighboring condo building. I kept an eye on the very still coyote. I thought about calling the neighboring building to warn them about the coyote, so management could alert owners with small dogs to avoid that area of grass. I then noticed two more coyotes in different spots on the property, all holding the exact same pose. I laughed until I cried when I finally realized they were fake. In my defense, every time friends visit for the first time they think the “coyotes” are real. We joke that we all either need new glasses…or need to stop drinking 🍷😁.
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Too funny. Keep drinking and laughing. I do hope the geese don’t clue in though.
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So funny, sorry it is from my end at least! Hope Oscr continues to work!
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No need to be sorry. The goal was to entertain. Glad to hear it was successful.
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Shitty geese vs. non-shitty geese—Sounds like a doctorate project for some overeager student.
I have a friend who counts the threatened spotted owl. Unlike shitty geese, they are not very adaptable birds. They only seem to do well in old-growth forests. Unfortunately for them, barred owls inhabit the same environment. They are more adaptable owls and far more aggressive, often driving the spotted owls out. My friend says despite conservation efforts, it’s likely that the spotted owl will become extinct.
Spotted owls were in the news for many years because timber companies can not log in old growth areas. It’s one of those examples of livelihood vs. nature.
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Somehow I think those shitty geese will be around forever. Unlike the poor spotted owl.
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Oh, this is hilarious! I hope this thing keeps all the shit away.
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Well it has been an entertaining adventure for sure. The image-conscious neighbours were very curious when I put out Stella and Finn. I am waiting to hear comments on Oscar. Hopefully my quirky beach decor items will combine to continue to deter the geese.
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First, terrific story, as usual.
Second, I must have my own Stella and Finn. They are adorable. Of course, I’ll also have to import a body of water for their new habitat, so that take some time…
Third, I cracked up after seeing the line “Some assembly was required” followed by the image of strewn body parts. It was perfect…. 😉
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So glad you enjoyed this. Such a first-world problem. But hey, one needs to get their entertainment somewhere.
You know, Stella and Finn would be quite happy in a kiddie pool.
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Oh the things we do to avoid being crapped on. My husband has a similar issue with wild turkeys coming to eat under our bird feeders. He runs out there like a lunatic waving his arms and clapping. Good thing our neighbors are far away.
Coyote in a box is an interesting deterrent. Hope it works.
👍
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I was like your husband with the squirrels on my bird feeder until I got The Squirrel Buster. Now we enjoy watching them try to get at the seed. I have been known to act like a lunatic.
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It’s like an ‘Airfix Wolf’ – I made an Airfix horse back in the day (they usually make aircraft and vehicles so it’s probably pretty unusual). The horse is much smaller of course – about 7 inches tall I think.
As well as the wolf, I really like the ducks – I laughed at those when I imagined them whizzing round and round on their anchors!
I can imagine the big geese get very territorial. Our wild land geese do too – they used to live in my field and, if I was in there doing some work like mending fences or whatever, the gander used to come at me with his neck outstretched and hissing. I used to just tell him it was my field and then ignore him. He was luckily all bluster and no bite!
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I really have a soft spot for those ducks. They are quirky and fun. If the geese didn’t constantly crap, I wouldn’t mind them at all. They are rather messy.
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it’s slippy stuff too!
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Several of our local rugby clubs are near rivers, which is not usually a problem. However, the second team pitch at one of them is famous for its goose shit. Many a woman, many a word, many a goose, many a turd as the Elizabethan rhyme goes. (Though I have just checked that on the net and cannot find it – maybe the man who told it to me – who had a lot of geese and a wife and two daughters – made it up).
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Fitting rhyme though no matter the source.
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🙂
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Give you neighbors something to talk about and began laughing with Oscar as you change him next time! LOL
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I chuckle every time I see him.
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I would too!
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This makes me smile . I should be that coyote on Amazon to kick the deer of our yard.
Anita
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He seems to be working for the geese. Fingers crossed that he continues to do so.
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