Self-Prescribed Togetherness

~ Bitchy After 60

Both seasoned introverts, The Doc and I are drifting apart and spending more and more time in our individual messy adult playrooms, rooms that I have written about in a recent blog. We drift back together for some meals and to watch baseball games, only sharing minimal and stinted conversations. This is not a new thing. This has been an evolving thing over the last few years. We happen to enjoy our time in our messy adult playrooms away from each other. But, and this is a big but, it sometimes feels like we might as well live in separate houses because it feels like it would be easier to be lonely separately. Or at least that is how I feel. Not sure about The Doc because he is not a man that shares his feelings. One of his less endearing traits in my book because I share all my feelings. No matter what they are. One of my less endearing traits in his book.

For years, while on the treadmill of a busy life, I thought that The Doc and I were best friends and would retire into a comfortable relationship where we would have adventures together like we did in our younger days when we went camping and canoeing and took day trips. Although I have no desire to go camping these days, unless I owned a vehicle like Margie from Back Roads and Other Stories, because I need a nice comfortable bed–not an air mattress. However, I do have a desire to have some adventures. Not necessarily big-world-travel adventures because one needs a bigger budget for those and in that area we are slightly lacking. Plus I don’t like groups and the idea of bus tours that require me to be packed every night and ready to go early every morning. On the other hand, the logistics of trip planning, especially worrying about missing important details, stresses me (and I think The Doc) out so independently planned big trips are also out of the question.

This doesn’t mean that we can’t have some adventures. I mentioned this to The Doc the other day in my usual to-the-point way, stating that if we didn’t start doing some things together, and by things I didn’t mean yard work and meals, that we were not going to survive together. Shortly afterwards, he suggested that we visit the Duncan Cove Nature Reserve, and then we had a plan.

We set out in the early afternoon since it wasn’t a long drive. Then discovered that first we had to find the place, which has no signs because it’s not really on the Tourism Nova Scotia must-see list. It is, first and foremost, a protected natural reserve and not a public park. When we finally found the entrance, which is through the old Chebucto Head Lighthouse and Radar station property. We parked off to the side, slipped around the gate, and began to walk what remained of an asphalt road towards the old station.

This station, now deserted for years, once had a proud history, warning ships with it’s lights and foghorn from 1872 to the 1990’s. It also housed a radar station and gun battery during the second world war as Halifax was a strategic military port that enemy submarines were known to watch from the Chebucto Head area. In fact, according to Wikipedia, On 16 April 1945, HMCS Esquimalt, a minesweeper, was torpedoed and sunk off Chebucto Head by The German submarine U-190, becoming the last Royal Canadian Navy warship lost to enemy action in World War II.

Although the infrastructure has seen better days, the ocean vistas are beautiful. The reserve itself encompasses 370 hectares of costal headland. It is home to Artic Blueberry and rare meat-eating picture plants and beautiful wild flowers. The terrain is rocky and barren and uneven with some paths weaving along the coast.

Because The Doc wasn’t feeling very sure footed, we decided to forgo exploring these rough trails and instead made our way to a nice spot overlooking the ocean where we could enjoy the view and empty our water bottles. Maybe there will be surer feet in The Doc’s future and we can come back to complete this adventure another day.

While heading back, we decided to stop for dinner at The Celtic Corner in Dartmouth where we enjoyed a pub meal on the patio overlooking Halifax Harbour.

All in all, our first self-prescribed togetherness experiment turned out to be a pretty nice day. We are now planning a second one for next week.

Thank you for reading.

Photos:  Jenn Stone

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21 thoughts on “Self-Prescribed Togetherness”

  1. If you’re married long enough (37 years for me) it’s easy to fall into those type of ruts. A change of scenery does a world of good, even if it’s just day tripping. I find whipping my husband’s butt in Scrabble with an adult beverage nearby works wonders too.

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  3. That is great that you went out on a day trip. I have never been to that ancient old Chebucto Head Lighthouse and Radar area. Interesting area to see. The Celtic Corner restaurant would be somewhere we should go . Happy Saturday.

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  5. I think it’s essential for married couples to have their separate interests and look for small things that you can do together. Maybe you can plan something once a week, and Doc can plan something the next. It doesn’t have to be elaborate—going to the movies, lunch, a drive, etc. I seem to remember a post about ice skating. It’s amazing how vital sharing little things together can be.

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    1. It really is essential. I am usually the planner in our house. Hence the skating and beach days etc. The Doc just quietly putts around. So yes it is nice when he comes up with a suggestion. Hopefully there will be more in the future.

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    1. Yes they will help and are enjoyable. There are other factors like him being nine years older and turning into his father so I still have work to do. Believe me there have been times when divorce crossed my mind but he really is a good person and doesn’t deserve that.

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    1. I did think of you on our outing. I love all your outings. It would have been nice for us to explore the rocks. The nine-year age difference between The Doc and I is really noticeable these days. So there are some things we won’t get to do.

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