Yes I said call me… as opposed to text me. Because if you really want to find out what is going on in my life, don’t rely on my dyslexic thumbs to provide you with that info. It will not happen.
I am a QWERTY person. I love a real standard keyboard. One where I can position my fingers on the home keys and communicate with efficiency and a reasonable amount of speed. What I am not is an App-keyboard person. An App that expects me to tap out a message with thumbs or finger tips that are three times the size of the miniature pretend key on my cell phone screen while the dancing dots impatiently remind me that someone is waiting for me. Oh the pressure. Oh the pain (in the ass that is).
This is what happens when I have a texting conversation:
Incoming message: How are you?
What I want to say is: I am absolutely kick-ass great because it is a beautiful day and the sun is bright and cheery so I am planning to go out in the garden. Plus there is a full bottle of wine on the kitchen counter. What more could a person ask for.
What I end up saying is: Pretty good.
Incoming message: So what have you been up to?
What I want to say is: Hiked the Atlantic View Trail, kayaked the lake, moved some plants, widened the hedge area, wrote a few blogs, dallied over a puzzle, practiced piano, did my morning yoga and watched several Blue Jays games.
What I end up saying is: Oh keeping busy.
You get the picture. This is not a conversation. This is torture. And it lasts for less than two minutes.
Last week a good friend of mine called and we spent over two hours chatting and catching up. It was a wonderful two way conversation. We laughed together. How do you laugh together when you are texting? And don’t say LOL. That is not laughing together. That is thinking you’re being funny. And often you are wrong. My friend and I updated each other on our kids, our parents, our present status and future plans. We covered opinions on current affairs and Covid protocol. We talked a lot. There are so many benefits to an actual conversation. The endorphins alone lasted at least three days–no wine required. Chatting is a such great way to boost one’s mental health.
And since I happened to toss in an acronym in my previous paragraph, I have to say that I detest them. It is like people are making them up as they go so they don’t have to write a sentence. How to hell am I supposed to know what you are talking about when your message is full of acronyms? I can’t remember how to spell normal English words. How do you expect me to decipher your code and then remember it in the future? Here’s one for you: WAFS. Take a stab. I promise to tell you if you are correct.
Texting is a younger person’s game. My fingers and thumbs are not made for this activity. When I watch JT text, with what appears to be the fastest thumb in the east, it makes me feel a little past my prime. I do not enjoy that feeling, nor do I enjoy someone trying to communicate with me while making me feel obsolete at the same time. That makes me bitchier. Ask me how many texting conversations ended because I couldn’t respond fast enough. Either I give up, or by the time I finally get my response sent, the other person has moved on to something or someone else.
What I want to know is who exactly decided that texting should replace an actual verbal conversation as the standard form of communication? And why did everyone jump on that bandwagon? I’m not saying that I don’t text. Texting can be very efficient to confirm dates and appointments. To say, “I’m on my way,” when someone is expecting you. To do a quick check in. But it is not, in any way shape or form, something I would call a pleasant way of communicating. It is a lazy way of communicating. One that allows people to tick a box and to say they touched base. But one that also allows someone to not get personally invested or to chose to ignore another’s words. Texting is just words, words without emotion. Emojis are not real emotions, they are cartoons. And just because you add an emoji, doesn’t mean you’re sincere. Sincerity is something you hear in another’s voice or see as an expression on their face. Sincerity is what I want in my conversations, which is why I prefer talking as opposed to texting. So, if you have my number, don’t be afraid to just call me. I promise, I won’t bite.
Thanks you for reading.
Photos: Mike Meyers, Unsplash