You may be a cartoon character if…
…You have been known to goofily send objects, often stemware, flying across the room with an over animated swish of your hand.
…You watch TV with Cruella de Vil hair while twisting and yanking your chin hairs and looking like an evil mastermind.
…You have two exclamation marks engraved between your eyebrows that get deeper when you are grumpy, mad, extra bitchy or just downright grinchy.
…You suddenly tip over sideways when sitting or squatting for no apparent reason. Then giggle like Tigger, again for no apparent reason, while trying to get up.
…You have exploded on more than one occasion. Either like Wile E. Coyote or some pissed off Dragon Ball Z character.
…You trip and stutter over your words like Daffy Duck even though you are trying to be deadly serious.
…You get stumped by mental math and can stare blankly at numbers (and apparently music notes) not having them register for a very long time, à la Pinky from Pinky and The Brain.
…You have an uncontrollable turnip face. A face that appears when you don’t like the taste of something. Something like turnip or perhaps old tires.
…You have days when you have about as much patience as the Tasmanian Devil.
…Your flatulent tendencies can match those of Pumbaa. Especially when you’re in bed.
…You suffer from Dory syndrome several times a day when you stand in a room and don’t remember why you went there.
…You are cynical, sarcastic and like to shit disturb in Garfield style. You also have a soft spot for sleep and an imagination full of alter egos.
…You have times when you feel like Charlie Brown with a need to borrow Linus’s blanket.
You may be a cartoon character, or you may be a retiree with a unique history, a little bit of baggage and a shitload of strange quirks.
Thank you for reading.
Photo: Andrew Seaman, Unsplash