Our Packages Are Taking The Scenic Route

Like most people who are doing their best to stay the blazes home, avoid too much housework and find something amusing to do, I have turned to online shopping to purchase a couple of things to help keep me sane. But honestly, if I was on the brink of going crazy, I would be there already because these purchases have not been in any position to help my cause.

Firstly, there was the puzzle table that arrived damaged on March 17th, right after things began to get dicey. This particular table took only four days to arrive with two of those days being the weekend. No problem. I arranged to return the table and have a new one shipped knowing that it would arrive a bit slower than the first one. Did I say a bit? Who was I kidding? This shipment went off radar for over two weeks. No tracking data except to say that it was en route. OK I get it, these people are busy. There is a lot going on right now.

On April 6th the tracking information was updated and stated that the shipment was out for delivery. YAY! I live a mere ten minutes away from where this was coming from so I was pretty excited that my replacement puzzle table was finally going to arrive. But it didn’t arrive. For four days the tracking information continued to say out for delivery. The only thing I could think of was that the table decided to take the scenic route and tour our beautiful province before permanently settling down in my home office.

Upon making the phone call to report the missing table, the agent was aghast that this was the current situation. “It must be still on the truck,” she said then promised to open a ticket and look into it before sending me an email with a ticket number. In the meantime the tracking site continued to claim that it was out for delivery.

On April 15th, which was six days later and just over four weeks from the day it was shipped, a little car (not a truck) pulled into my driveway and a lone woman removed the flat-packaged table from her trunk and dropped it on my front step. I watched the drop and hoped like hell it wasn’t damaged. To be clear, the package wasn’t heavy, just a bit awkward and she had a trolley with wheels. Lucky for me, my table was intact.

Like I said, we are in midst of an unusual time, so I am willing to give some leeway in situations like this because everyone is under pressure and one would expect the odd package to take the scenic route. Though, I didn’t think it would happen to us more than once.

On April 10th I ordered some jigsaw puzzles, a continuance of my isolation-sanity project. My new table was supposedly “en route” and I was down to my last puzzle. I received a tracking number confirming shipment on the 14th. What happened next? The package went off radar and didn’t appear again until April 20th when it was updated to say it was en route. Déjà vu. I was beginning to develop an immense dislike for the phrase en route.

Absolutely nothing happened for another six days. Then, to my incredulity, the next tracking update, on April 26th, informed me that this package was taking a scenic tour of our beautiful country. Somewhere between Ontario and Nova Scotia, the package veered off route and went west instead of east to visit Edmonton, Alberta. Nice city. I’ve been there. Nice time of year to visit this city. I went several times a long time ago in the middle of a very cold winter. I might like to go back someday. I’m a little put out that my package beat me to it. A day later, the package checked into Winnipeg, Manitoba, which means it is once again heading east. Or at least I hope so. It has gone off radar again so who knows where it will end up next. Where ever it goes I hope it enjoys the scenery. I also hope that it will eventually arrive on my front step.

Maybe our mailing address is jinxed or we are on someone’s shit list because I am not the only one that this has happened to. The Doc, an avid fisherman, ordered rod-making supplies on April 8th that were shipped on the 13th. This package has been off radar since April 16th. Who knows what scenic route his package is taking. I like to imagine it will include trout-filled lakes and pebble-lined streams. Our packages are certainly traveling a whole lot more than we are during these days of isolation. Frankly, I can’t help but feel a little bit jealous.

Thanks for reading.

Photos: Unsplash, Dory, Jamie Morrison, box, Brandable Box.  Photo manipulation Jenn Stone.

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